The Absentee Blogger

For the last two weeks or so, I’ve been an absentee blogger. It is the first time I have gone this long without making 2-3 posts or more in a week. It feels strange not to be writing regularly. I love writing. But, I just didn’t have it in me to write.

As many of you know, on June 4, I learned at my 12-week ultrasound that my baby had stopped growing at 10 weeks. The news was devastating, as I described in my post on that day. A week later, we had the D&C. 

During the last couple of weeks, I’ve tried to find the joy and motivation to write. I was missing both. I was mourning the loss of my little angel; the fourth such angel in my life. Trying to put on a happy face and write about food, much less life, seemed impossible in many ways. I tried. I did a Sweet Saturday post, but I didn’t have the mental energy nor the ability to do much more than that one post over 2 weeks ago. 

Absentee Blogger

My dad and Ginny at the Cardinal’s game.

I have been slowly healing from the loss. We had made plans for the Father’s Day weekend months before the loss, and I was grateful for it. My parents drove up from Florida with my niece and nephew. We met them at a Cardinal’s baseball game on Father’s Day. Spending the day with family at one of my favorite places helped me heal. Being surrounded by the ones you love always helps.

Absentee Blogger

Giving Grace cuddles at the game.

That evening, we ate dinner at Outback and my oldest distracted me from my thoughts as she refused to eat, spitting out even her favorite foods. What was up with my child? (I never found out, FYI. She just stopped eating for a couple of days and resumed eating again recently.)

After dinner, we returned home and got our girls ready for bed. Of course, Grace refused to sleep until close to 10, but Ginny was so exhausted she fell asleep immediately. About an hour after our return, one of my best friends, Dawn, arrived (also planned over a month ahead of time). She was in Illinois for a wedding over the weekend and had decided to stop and visit with us before returning home to Kentucky. 

Absentee Blogger

I spent the day with my family at Lincoln’s New Salem. (From left to right: my dad, my nephew Carson, Ginny, my friend Dawn, Grace, me, my niece Kendall, my mom, and Chris)

It is like God knew the loss would happen and timed it so I would be surrounded by family and friends. I’m grateful for that. The time at the game and spending the next day with my family and Dawn helped me in ways that are hard to describe. I needed them. I didn’t know how much I needed them until I saw them. Their hugs and love enveloped me, even though no one was hovering over me with concern. My heart felt it. My joy returned. 

Absentee Blogger

Chris with our youngest Grace who gave me an interesting pose!

With my healing, I knew I needed to return to my blog. Coming back was not easy. Where should I start? What should I say? I let my thoughts fester and grow for the next week. Doing a Twitter party with a bunch of bloggers one night was enough to motivate me. I felt the support from my blogging community. Not for my loss, but for my loss of motivation in writing and blogging. Chatting with them helped me find a desire to write again. I pulled out my calendar and started to fill it with an editorial schedule of sorts.

I can’t promise I won’t take a break like I did again. I don’t intend to, but as I discovered, life happens. However, for all intents and purposes, I plan to post at least 2-3 times a week again. I have a few posts planned for this week, including recipes for a great hamburger casserole and lemon sugar cookies. 

Thanks to all of you for your love, support, and encouragement during the last couple of weeks. I have felt it and appreciated it in ways I can’t explain. You, my readers, are beyond amazing!

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Hi! I'm Denise, a 40+ year old SAHM trying to navigate the world of motherhood. I blog about parenting, food, and have been featured a few times on BlogHer. I enjoys solving mysteries (Okay..reading mysteries or watching them on TV), cooking, and drinking way too much caffeine than I should. Basically, anything I needs to do to survive the toddler years.

Latest posts by jayhawk.mommy@yahoo.com (see all)

8 thoughts on “The Absentee Blogger

  1. Chris Carter

    Bless your mama heart! I am so so sorry you have to be experiencing such a horrible loss! I am so glad that God timed your family visit perfectly, and that you felt His Provision during this painful time. I will be praying for you!

    Reply
  2. Mimi

    Such a tough loss no matter where it is in the pregnancy. I lost my 4th while at a conference. I didn’t have anyone close to me with me, but it was at a church conference, so I had a lot of people of faith surrounding me and praying for me. Hugs to you. So thankful you had loving people surrounding you during that time!

    Reply
  3. Jill F.

    Hugs to you. I have never been in your place, but I had a similar event, in losing my 5 year old. About the same time I was offered to preview a book, Sunshine After The Storm, about grieving mothers, many with infant loss. It is a short read, nut may give you comfort.
    Jill F. recently posted…Enjoying Summer

    Reply
  4. Pingback: In the Pews | Adventures of a Jayhawk Mommy

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