Once upon a time, early in my blogging life, I thought it would be fun to post funny tweets from Twitter. I thought I would make it a regular thing; however, I only did it that one time.
Well, I decided to try it again. I won’t do this every Friday, but I do intend to share some Friday Funnies every so often. Here are a handful that made me giggle this week. I hope you enjoy them! (Oh, and notice that I figured out how to embed them?? Yay, me!)
12 Funny Tweets
Race skating! 5yo says. Speed skating! I say. Race skating! 5yo says. I give up
— Laura Bleill (@chambanalaura) February 14, 2014
I frequently tweet offensive things just to clear out my twitter followers. It’s like the neti pot for social media.
— lyz lenz (@lyzl) January 29, 2014
My 9yo just poured the milk into the bowl before the Cheerios. Sacrilege. — Leanne Shirtliffe (@LShirtliffe) February 19, 2014
I used to think it was weird when I saw someone eating alone at a restaurant. Now I know they were a parent desperate for peace & quiet. — Happy Daddy (@Happiestdaddy) February 19, 2014
Me: Can you feel the sexual tension in the air? Wife: That’s just humidity Me: *gets naked* Wife: *turns on dehumidifier* *falls asleep* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 18, 2014
I am massively over caffeinated right now. Pretty sure I could get a gold in the Olympics. — Nancy Owen (@MomOfTeen) February 20, 2014
Almost started a conversation with “What’s your favorite line in FROZEN?” but realized I was the only parent & stopped before I got beat up. — Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) February 20, 2014
4yo, singing to the radio: I like this song! Me: Me too! Do you know who sings it? 4yo: Me! Me: … 4yo: (continues singing) — Momma of Midgard (@MidgardMomma) February 18, 2014
Compare me to your mother once, shame on you. Compare me to your mother twice, shame on your mother for raising an idiot.
— American Housewife (@WhatIDoAllDay) February 15, 2014
Sometimes I look at my kids when sleeping & imagine tossing cold water on them then running. Maybe then they’ll understand mornings for us.
— Martinis & Minivans (@martinisandmini) February 20, 2014
“Hey buddy, what’s six plus six?” *waits 5 minutes while 6 year old counts on his fingers* 6 year old: “TWO SIXES.” “….correct.”
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) February 17, 2014
PILOT: We are landing in NY. 4YO: That's where WE'RE going! (As if it was a total coincidence the plane was heading to the same place.)
— Ilana Wiles (@mommyshorts) February 19, 2014