Yes, I Am a Feminist

On this, International Women’s Day, I feel the need to come out of the “closet” (so-to-speak) and admit that I am a feminist! 

Those who know me are probably laughing out loud right now, saying to themselves, “What closet, Denise? We’ve known that about you for years!” 

Yes. I Am a Feminist!
With my mom, the first feminist I ever knew. My role model.

True, true. However, I feel the need to say it on my blog, a mommy blog; a blog about a stay-at-home mom trying to survive motherhood. A belief seems to exist that a stay-at-home mom can’t be a feminist.

Feminists work outside the home full-time and have their children in day care, right?

They are role models for their children on what they can do and don’t waste the education they were given, right?

Wrong. A feminist is simply someone who believes that women should have the same rights and opportunities (politically, economically, and socially) as men. It’s as simple as that.

I support men staying home with children, if they wish, just as I support highly educated (and even non-educated) women staying home. We should all have choices based on what is best for ourselves and our families.

My mom was the first feminist I knew. Growing up as a young child in the 1970s, I heard a lot about feminism. My mom didn’t agree with all of it. She was a stay-at-home mom herself, at the time. One thing that infuriated her was other feminists putting her down for staying at home with my sister and me. What they didn’t see were the lessons my mom passed on to us.

She talked about how a marriage was a partnership; not one person having power over the other like it was in the past. She wrote her Congress person and Senator asking that they pass the Equal Rights Amendment (which still sits waiting to be voted on over 30 years later). In 1980, she voted for an independent candidate who supported women’s rights. 

Beyond that, though, if we talked about wanting to be a stewardess (the name for flight attendant once upon a time), my mom would ask us, “Why not be a pilot?” If we said we wanted to be a nurse, she would ask, “Why not be a doctor?” It wasn’t that she wouldn’t support us being a flight attendant or nurse. No. She just wanted us to see beyond the gender stereotypes constantly being represented in the media during the 1970s and early 1980s. I imagine that if she had sons and they said they wanted to be a doctor, she would have said, “Why not a nurse?” 

My mom started working outside the home when I was 10 years old. I saw what an education and determination could bring to a woman in the workforce. She began as a staff accountant and worked up to financial controller at her company. However, I also witnessed the struggles she faced just because she was a woman. Doors were closed to her because she wasn’t a male. 

Unfortunately, times have not changed much. Glass ceilings exist in many careers to this day as well as being paid unequal wages for the same work, just because you are a woman. 

I don’t want that for my daughters. 

I plan to encourage my girls to do more and be more that what is expected of them as females. It is my goal to work toward safer environments for my daughters and their daughters, on the internet and in the real world. They should not be slandered, physically assaulted, or treated as less than because of their gender. I want more for them than I had available even for myself.

I’m lucky. My mom’s role in my life made me feel like I could do whatever I wanted. I want to do the same for my three girls as they grow up.

Because of my mom, I don’t feel that being a stay-at-home mom discourages that either. In fact, I’ll use my role to help them achieve what they want in life and let them know that they can do what they want. 

Happy International Women’s Day!

And, now, on to my recap of the past couple of weeks…

My Writing Around the Web: 

Stop Fat-Shaming! I’m over it. I’m sick of the fat-shaming. We need to stop! It’s just another form of bullying.

Chicken with Lemony Green Beans and Potatoes I’m overdo with recipes, so I thought I’d share this one that my family loves!

The Magic Kingdom My girls went to Disney World’s Magic Kingdom for the first time! We had quite the adventure.

A Family Vacation to Florida  We make an annual trip to visit my family in Florida. This time, we saw an old fort and collected sand dollars.

Whatever Happened to Compassion? I ranted about how we treat each other on the internet. We need to remember that using the internet doesn’t negate compassion.

Nothing Says Romance Like 11 Hours in a Minivan Guess how I spent Valentine’s Day? Not sure….the title will give you a hint. 

Not-to-Miss Articles from Around the Web

I’ve been busy reading lots of blog posts. I’m sharing a few of my favorites that you really should read!

Compassion is Hard Compassion isn’t always easy, and sometimes we fail, but we still need to keep trying.

“Con” is for “Conspiracy Theories” Further proof that some people need “help.”

I’m Not Giving in to Potty Training Pressure (Because it Worked for Me Last Time) I’m feeling the pressure to potty train my youngest (2) from family members who ask, “when will you start?” Reading this helped me feel better.

To The Man Who Broke Me POWERFUL piece by Sandy!! If you have been abused or know someone who has, it is a must read. If you don’t, you still need to read it anyway.

This Free Range Parenting Thing Helicopter parenting is hurting our kids; I’m convinced. I love Molley’s perspective on the whole thing!

Words Hurt Do you use the word, “retard?” Please rethink it. Reading this post may give you some perspective on how that word can hurt.

About Denise

Hi! I'm Denise, a 40+ year old SAHM trying to navigate the world of motherhood. I blog about parenting, food, and have been featured a few times on BlogHer. I enjoys solving mysteries (Okay..reading mysteries or watching them on TV), cooking, and drinking way too much caffeine than I should. Basically, anything I needs to do to survive the toddler years.



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  1. Denise, THANKS for the nod and the mention of my Compassion piece. That one means a great deal to me and I am delighted that you thought so highly of it.
    I love this post right here and I’m coming back later to comment more appropriately – right now my daughter is waiting for me to spend the afternoon together.
    Lisa @ The Meaning of Me recently posted…TToT – The One With All The Excitement

  2. This is awesome. Some friends and I released an ebook of Feminist Friday posts we wrote last year. We run a project where one of us writes the post and then we try and get as many people as we can to come and discuss the topic on that one thread.

    We don’t do it every week. We line them up and do them in runs of four to eight weeks, depending on peoples’ schedules. We’ve got a couple of weeks left for the spring, then we’re off until mid-May or early June.

    Details are pinned to the top of my front page if you’re interested 🙂
    Gene’O recently posted…Weekend Coffee Share: We Made it Happen Edition

  3. I could not love this more if I tried. My mom was also a stay at home mom and so am I now. Granted, I work from home, but still both my mom and I are liberal and feminists, as well. So, I love how you broke the stereotype here that a feminist can’t be at home mom, as well, because we can indeed come in all forms.
    Janine Huldie recently posted…Why Growing Up Is Hard To Do

    1. Thanks so much, Janine! I keep reading things from young women in their 20s (and a few older ones) who feel like it would betray feminism to stay at home as a mom. I just wanted to say it wasn’t true. Sounds like we were both raised by outstanding moms. 😉

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