This past April, my husband, Chris, and I were thrilled to learn we were expecting our third child. We were naturally ambivalent because of three losses in the past, but figured with two healthy children, odds were good that the baby would be healthy.
At eight weeks pregnant, we went in for our first doctor appointment and ultrasound. I lay there nervous as the transvaginal ultrasound was performed. Once I heard the heartbeat, relief washed over me. Our baby was healthy and had a strong heartbeat (164 beats per minute). My ambivalence changed to relief as I looked forward to the ensuing months and giving birth in December.
All that would change a mere four weeks later when, in early June, we went for our 12-week checkup with my doctor and another ultrasound. I could tell right away that something was wrong. It was then that we learned that our baby died at 10 weeks gestation. We had lost our fourth baby.
Coping, at first, was a bit difficult. I couldn’t understand what went wrong. I discuss all of this and what we learned about our loss at Scary Mommy today.